


Take What You Need

by fictionallemons



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Benji, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Ethan's POV, Jealousy, Light Angst, Love Bites, Love Confessions, M/M, Mention of Non-Con/Dub-Con, PWP, Porn with Feelings, Post-Mission Impossible: Fallout, Protective Ethan, Smut, Top Ethan, but they haven't said I love you yet, jealous Ethan, sexy cinnamon rolls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:14:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionallemons/pseuds/fictionallemons
Summary: Ethan and Benji have been together for a few months, but something happens on a mission to make Ethan confront the true nature of his feelings...with a generous helping of smut along the way.





	Take What You Need

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cloudnumbernine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudnumbernine/gifts).



> I tagged this "mention of non-con/dub-con" because Benji is touched/kissed by someone during a mission and while he doesn't consider it non-con, I think it depends on your personal interpretation and I wanted to be on the safe side. Ethan has to work through his own feelings about this in the fic...it's complicated. If you think I should use any additional tags, lmk in the comments. Thanks.
> 
> I'm gifting this to cloudnumbernine for reminding me in my previous work that we all need more Ethan/Benji smut in our lives...here you go and hope it's enough! ;-)

Berlin. 0200 hours. Ethan paces in the alley outside the swanky nightclub, resisting the urge to check his watch. Benji is still within the window, but Ethan has to physically stop himself from striding into the club and extracting him right this minute. 

He hated everything about this mission from the start, but he’s swallowed his distaste and gone along with it. They’re close to being finished now. All Benji has to do is plant the tracker so they can shadow the exchange tomorrow and they’ll be set. But the setup makes Ethan uncomfortable. Usually Benji works behind the scenes, support, problem solving, making miracles happen in impossibly tight windows of time. Occasionally he has to act a part, but it’s never like this. Ethan’s the one who’s used to putting himself, his very body, on the line. Benji isn’t. And even though, yeah, the danger factor here isn’t that high, Ethan won’t breathe easily until Benji is safely out of that club, by Ethan’s side. Where Ethan can protect him.

Time ticks down and with two minutes to spare, the emergency exit door opens quietly and a figure slips out. Ethan sighs in relief. It’s Benji, looking whole and unharmed, as well as Ethan can tell in the dim light of the alley.

“Is it done?” he asks briefly.

Benji responds tersely, “Yes.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s get out of here.”

Inside fifteen minutes they’re at their safe house, a not-too-shabby apartment above a dry cleaners. Will and Luther will be joining them tomorrow for the exchange, but tonight they’re on their own. Ethan’s not sure if Will planned it that way, or if it’s just a fortuitous coincidence. Since he and Benji told a few people at the office that they’re together, they’ve been on as many missions together as before, but he’s noticed they’ve been given a bit more privacy. He’s not complaining. 

There’s something oddly normal about being about to work alongside his best friend and his boyfriend, focused on the work when they need to be, focused on each other when they have some downtime. It’s nice. It’s the happiest Ethan’s ever been, to be honest.

He’s about to say something along those lines to Benji, ask him if he wants to share a shower and fool around, but Benji’s been quiet on the walk here, and he turns away, toward the small bedroom where their stuff is stashed before Ethan can say anything at all.

“Hey, Benji, what’s—” Ethan grabs Benji’s arm, causes his white collared shirt to shift. The red mark on his collarbone is all Ethan sees. It takes him a second to register what he’s seeing.

“Was that Raines?” He nods at the mark.

Benji reaches up to touch the bruise briefly. “Yeah, he got a little, uh, handsy.” 

“His hands didn’t do that,” Ethan says, his voice hard. “He kissed you.”

“Wasn’t that the whole point?” Benji says. He sounds tired. 

Ethan wants to murder the man who touched Benji, and he wants to wrap Benji in a soft protective blanket and never let him near another villain. Neither of those options is happening, so he just balls up his hands in frustration. “You were supposed to plant the tracker and get out.”

“This wasn’t my fault,” Benji says. “I couldn’t very well flirt with him and then attack him when we were finally alone.”

Ethan tries to breathe in through his nose, out through his mouth as he thinks about Benji—his Benji—flirting with someone else, even though it was necessary for the mission.

“I know this isn’t your fault. I don’t mean to imply it was. It’s just why I didn’t like the mission parameters in the first place.”

“But it made the most sense,” Benji says reasonably. “I fit the profile of his type to a tee, you said it yourself. I never thought a scruffy ginger would be such a catch, but it worked and here we are.”

Ethan knows how they got into this situation. Raines has a predilection for men with Benji’s body type, facial hair, and coloring. He hadn’t had to alter anything about himself to be the perfect bait. 

Ethan understands only too well. He finds Benji delectable. He’d initially fallen for Benji’s wit, loyalty, and smarts, but it hadn’t taken him long to start fantasizing about his trim waist, his expressive hands, his pink lips, his surprisingly muscular chest. Long before they got together, Ethan would wonder what Benji’s cock looked like, wonder what sounds he’d make if Ethan touched him, how he’d look with his mouth wrapped around Ethan’s cock, his beautiful eyes looking up at Ethan. He’d fantasized countless times about Benji giving Ethan an enthusiastic blow job, before they did it for real, breathless and exhausted after a particularly difficult mission. Ethan had only been able to wonder why the hell they’d waited so long before he’d come hard down Benji’s lovely throat.

Benji is far too casual for someone who’s just been attacked by a mark.

“You said you were okay,” Ethan says. He doesn’t want to let this go. This isn’t okay with him and he’s not sure how to process it.

“I am okay, Ethan,” Benji says. “Really. It went exactly according to plan.”

“Tell me.”

“Do you want a debrief as my team leader or as my boyfriend, because you’re being…”

“What?”

“Weird.” Benji sits down on the bed, starts threading the cuff links through the French cuffs of his dressy shirt.

Ethan drops to the floor at Benji’s feet, puts his hands on the bed on either side of his boyfriend. “I’m sorry,” he says. “We’re field agents. And I thought I was okay with what that meant—the physical danger, the psychological trauma, the uncertainty, the scars. But this—” he reaches up and slides the pad of one finger lightly over Benji’s purpling hickey “—this is not okay with me.”

Benji stares at Ethan, taking in his expression, his body language. “Oh my god, you’re jealous!”

“What? I’m—”

“You don’t think I liked it, do you?” Benji sounds far from defensive. He actually sounds like he’s trying to hold back a laugh.

“Of course not,” Ethan says stiffly. He knows, intellectually, that Benji cares about him and he’d never cheat. “But Raines is handsome, charming, rich—”

“He also kisses like a slug. Way too much tongue. I had to try not to vomit into his handsome, charming, rich mouth while I planted the damn tracker,” Benji says with his trademark bantering tone.

Ethan drops his head. He’s a terrible person. He’s relieved that Benji didn’t enjoy being kissed by another man, even as he’s angry that Benji had to endure the unwanted attentions of said man.

“I guess I’m a little—fucked up,” Ethan says. “I’m sorry, Benji.” He rocks back, about to push up and away, to give Benji some space, but the other man reaches out, grabs his shoulders.

“Hey, Ethan, it’s okay. This job messes with our heads sometimes. I didn’t like Raines kissing me, touching me, just like I don’t like it when a crazy assassin pistol-whips me or a rogue MI-6 agent zaps me with a defibrillator. It’s part of the job, we move on. I’m fine.” His hands travel over Ethan’s arms, until he’s holding Ethan’s hands, tethering him, grounding him. “And it’s okay for you to not like the idea of me kissing anyone else, even for a mission.”

“It is?” Ethan mumbles.

“Yeah. It’s actually kind of hot.”

Ethan raises his head, sees the blush stealing over Benji’s cheeks. “It is?” he says again, but more suggestively this time.

“Well, you know, you’re always in protective mode. Which I appreciate, I really do. But it’s nice to see you a little...possessive.”

“Possessive?” Ethan repeats, brushing his thumbs over Benji’s knuckles slowly.

Benji swallows. “You know, I think you were a little jealous.”

“Of course I was!” Ethan says, more harshly than he intended. “Imagining him kissing you, touching you, marking you. I was out of my mind the entire time you were in there.”

“You know I’m—I mean, that we’re—” Benji stops and starts again. “You’re the only one I want.”

“The only one,” Ethan echoes, and then he kisses Benji, hard. It’s not enough that they’re holding hands and kissing. Ethan needs to show Benji how much he wants him, how much he needs him. How much Ethan belongs to him and vice versa. 

They’ve been doing this for a few months, but it’s never been like this before. Ethan growls, wrenches Benji’s shirt the rest of the way off, leaving cufflinks and even a button scattered in his wake. He pushes Benji, now shirtless, back onto the bed, straddling him with knees on either side of Benji’s hips. He can see a couple of more faint marks on Benji’s fair skin, the beginnings of bruises made by a mouth less delicate than Ethan’s. He wants to smash Raines’s teeth in, bloody his mouth for thinking he could do that to Benji. He wants to keep Benji safe and whole, cover him with soft kisses, make him feel nothing but pleasure. The two sides of him are warring and he doesn’t know how to touch Benji when he’s feeling like this, primitive and protective all at once. He balls up his hands into fists, almost afraid to touch, afraid to go too far. He squeezes his eyes shut.

Benji’s touch is soft, his voice quiet. He’s reaching up to cup Ethan’s jaw, to trail a hand down Ethan’s neck. “Ethan, it’s okay. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever you need to do, just stay here. With me. Okay?”

Ethan shudders out a breath. He doesn’t open his eyes. “I need you, Benji. I need you to be safe. I have to keep you safe. Maybe right now I need you to be safe from me.”

“What do you mean?”

Ethan opens his eyes slowly. Benji’s gazing up at him, his expression open, just waiting, ready for whatever Ethan is going to tell him. Benji is safe. He’s where Ethan feels safe. Maybe that’s why Ethan needs to keep him safe. Because keeping Benji safe is protecting his own heart. His own home. “I don’t want to go too far.”

“You can’t,” Benji says simply. He sounds absolutely sure. “You wouldn’t.”

Benji, always with the faith that Ethan can do the impossible. Maybe it was that faith that gave Ethan the strength to do just that, time and time again.

“I don’t think you know how much—” Ethan stops. He can’t go on. There are a few different ways he can think of to finish that sentence and each one is too much, too costly.

But Benji surprises him. “I know,” he says, soft and sure. “You can’t break me, Ethan. I’m stronger than I look.”

“I know that,” Ethan says. He does. Benji’s always been strong.

“So take what you need.” Benji’s gaze never wavers. “Please.”

Ethan breathes in through his nose, out through his mouth. He’s tense all over, ready to spring. “God, Benji.”

Benji smiles in that way where his eye go soft and crinkly and Ethan feels like he might suffocate from need. He relaxes his hands, and he starts to take. He takes, because Benji’s giving. Because Benji wants him to. Because this is how he knows that Benji’s his, Benji’s safe, Benji’s cocooned in all off Ethan’s care, in his fierce defense against anyone and anything that might want to do Benji harm. 

He starts by running his hands up Benji’s chest, over the ridges in his defined abs, over his pecs, brushing lightly over the nipples, which are already tightening. One hand comes up to cover Benji’s throat. He just holds it there, lightly, feeling his pulse and the bob of his adam’s apple as he swallows. 

He looks at Benji’s face. His expression, open, soft, hasn’t changed. He’s not scared. He _wants_ this. He wants whatever Ethan needs. 

Ethan feels his cock literally pulse as it starts to fill, to harden, as he watches Benji, still covering his throat. With his other hand he unbuckles his belt and Benji loses a little of his softness, licks his lips. His eyes are glassy, and Ethan feels a corresponding hardness underneath him as Benji’s cock indicates his own arousal. Ethan pulls his belt free, drops it over the side of the bed. He squeezes Benji’s throat lightly and Benji make a noise—small, almost imperceptible, but the sound goes straight to Ethan’s cock. 

He lets go, unbuttons his fly, pushes the front of his boxers down enough to release his cock into his hand. He’s still dressed, with his cock out, straddling Benji, who’s taking it all in with his mouth parted. Benji looks absolutely hungry for Ethan, and Ethan scoots forward, takes the tip of his cock and traces it over Benji’s lips. 

Benji looks incredible like this, open and willing. Ethan wants to do so many things. He strokes himself roughly, barely aware of the sensations in his body as focused as he is on Benji’s face. He drags the tip back over Benji’s mouth, murmurs, “Gorgeous,” and Benji makes that noise again, helpless and needy and, god, Ethan wants to take care of him. He trails his cock though Benji’s beard, over his cheekbones, leaving a slight trail of precum, He brings it back to Benji’s mouth, and Benji sucks the tip in. 

Hot, hard suction envelopes Ethan and he groans as he feeds Benji the rest of his cock until it bumps the back of Benji’s throat and Ethan holds it there, testing. Benji swallows, and Ethan can feel it throughout his entire body. There are tears leaking out of the corner of Benji’s eyes. Ethan pulls back and then starts thrusting. Benji takes him all, and it’s the sight of him, his mouth full of Ethan’s cock that almost makes Ethan come. He pulls out all the way, and Benji chases the tip with his open mouth, tongue extended. 

“Fuck, Ethan, I could suck your cock all night.”

Ethan shivers, smiles. “I know you could, baby.” Then he pushes all the way back in, and Benji chokes on his girth. He’s so fucking sexy. Ethan takes a mental picture. All the times he’d thought about this, he’d never imagined that Benji would be so fucking hot. The real thing was so much better than any fantasy.

He pulls out again, and Benji breathes hard. Ethan unbuttons the top few buttons of his gray dress shirt, pulls it over his head. Benji’s gaze takes in the flat, hard expanse of Ethan’s chest, with all of its muscles and scars. Ethan feels the weight of his scrutiny, oddly self-conscious while Benji drinks him in.

“You’re beautiful,” Benji says.

He doesn’t feel particularly beautiful. He feels his age more and more. He feels the years that he spent alone, after Julia, before Benji, when he didn’t trust himself to share this with anyone else. Those had been long years, broken only by his growing friendships within his team, particularly his friendship with Benji. Probably why he’d taken so long to realize that when Benji looked at him, there was more than friendly admiration in his eyes. He hadn’t wanted to mess up a friendship that was so very important to him.

But when Benji says it again, low and sure, “You’re beautiful,” he thinks he might feel a little bit beautiful, for Benji.

He lowers himself down, bringing their chests together for the first time, bringing his face close to Benji’s. It feels incredible to be skin to skin, and to have his half-bared erection rubbing close to Benji’s fully clothed one. Benji hooks a leg around Ethan’s lower body to keep him there, his arms wrap around Ethan’s shoulders. Benji wants the closeness as much as Ethan does, and when Ethan kisses him, he tastes a little bit like Ethan. His tongue spears into Benji’s mouth in an echo of what he’s just done with his cock. Benji takes it, mouth open wide for Ethan to use. They grind against each other, kissing deep and long, as if that was their sole purpose on the earth.

Eventually Benji’s movements get jerky and erratic and Ethan knows he’s close, but that’s not how he wants him to come. He eases down Benji’s body, kissing down his chest, nipples on his nipples, until his mouth ghosts over the bulge in Benji’s dress trousers. There’s already a spot of precum spreading tantalizingly over the dark gray fabric. He tongues the outline of Benji’s hard length, and Benji jerks and groans. 

“Fucking hell, Ethan.” Ethan does it again. “You’re a tease.”

Ethan buries his nose against Benji’s groin and breathes, taking a moment to collect himself. Then he reaches up to finally unfasten Benji’s trousers, peeling them, along with his boxers, down Benji’s legs, removing his shoes, socks, so he’s lying on the bed, completely naked. Benji’s hard cock, red and leaking, curves up out of ginger curls toward his belly. Ethan’s mouth waters. 

Benji is perfect, except for those small marks made by Raines. Ethan’s fury rises every time he remembers why they’re there. He strokes himself roughly. He’d love nothing more than to paint Benji with his come, cover up those bruises with white stripes, erase them from Benji’s body with the evidence of Ethan’s desire for him.

He stops himself. Jerking himself off while still half dressed, Benji lying underneath him completely naked is turning him on too much. There’s so much more he wants to do. He steps on the ground, dropping his trousers and boxers, kicking off his shoes and socks at the same time, so he’s now as exposed as Benji.

Before climbing back on the bed he detours to his small black suitcase, brings out the tube of lube he’d taken to carrying ever since he and Benji had started up. He doesn’t bother with a condom. They’re both clean, and Benji told him he’d rather go without. This suits Ethan fine most of the time, but tonight it’s all he can think about, filling Benji with his come, having nothing between them but a bit of lube.

He gets on the bed, scoots Benji up on a few pillows, kisses him the way he always wants to kiss him, long, hard, deep, whether or not they’re just saying hello or goodbye or good luck. Ethan always wants to kiss Benji like it could be the last time. Benji chases Ethan’s mouth with his own as Ethan pulls away. “You are a tease tonight, Ethan.”

“I’m not teasing you. I’m going to make you feel so good, baby,” Ethan says.

“Well, get on with it, then,” Benji says with mock impatience. “Stick that gorgeous cock in me.”

Ethan stills. He grabs Benji’s cock and squeezes it, then growls into Benji’s ear. “You want my cock in you? Is that what you want?”

“I know that’s what you want, Ethan. Stop pussyfooting around and give it to me.” Benji’s goading him. He knows Ethan wants to kick it up a notch and he’s giving him permission.

Ethan squeezes harder. “Oh, I’ll give it to you. I’m going to fill you with so much cock. I’m going to get you nice and ready and open for me, and it’s still not going to be enough for all the cock I’m going to give you. I’m going to stretch you, I’m going to fill you, and I’m going to fuck the daylights out of you. And when you can’t take any more of my cock pounding into you, I’m going to come so deep inside you you’ll wonder if it’ll ever come out. Then you’ll be full with my cock and my come and you’ll be so hard you’ll be begging me to get you off. Is that what you want?”

“Jesus fuck--yes,” Benji howls. 

Ethan lets go of Benji’s cock. “Turn over. I don’t want to see another man’s god damn hickeys on you while I’m fucking you.”

Benji scrambles over onto his belly, dragging a pillow underneath his hips so his ass is raised a little. He doesn’t wait, but spreads his legs for Ethan, and his position, ready, willing, open to whatever Ethan has in mind, makes a wave of pleasure, of longing, of something else Ethan doesn’t want to name, wash over him. 

Ethan’s cock is hard and leaking, but he ignores it and slicks up his fingers. He presses two lightly against Benji’s beautiful puckered hole, and then without further preamble, pushes them inside up to the second knuckle. He’s careful, but less than gentle. He knows Benji can take it.

“More,” Benji grunts. Ethan fucks him a little bit, scissoring his fingers now and then, feeling Benji respond, feeling him push his ass back up against Ethan’s hand, greedy for more.

Ethan talks him through it, the dirty words making them both hot. “You like that, feeling my fingers in your ass? Getting you nice and loose and ready to take my cock?”

Benji makes an incoherent sound as Ethan adds a third finger. He avoids Benji’s prostate, instead focuses on stretching him so that when Ethan finally slides in all Benji will feel is the fullness, not the sting. “You’re so fucking hot right now, baby,” Ethan says. “Taking my fingers, and the way you sucked my cock before--fuck. I wanted to come in your throat. I wanted you to suck all the come out of my cock.”

“Next time,” Benji cries. “Please, Ethan, I need it now.”

Ethan’s handle on his self control isn’t slipping so much as he knows they’re both going to come whether they want to or not at the rate they’re going. He slides his fingers out, lubes up his cock, and lines the blunt head up with Benji’s hole. The sight of beautiful Benji spread open for him, about to take everything makes Ethan feel like he might cry. And then Benji growls, “Get on with it already you gorgeous bastard.”

Ethan’s not lacking in the upper body strength department, so in two quick moves he has Benji flipped onto his back. “What are you—“ Benji starts to say. 

Ethan no longer cares about hiding it. “I want to see you.”

Benji reaches up a hand, strokes Ethan’s cheek. Ethan leans his head into the caress, locks his gaze on Benji’s eyes and slides in. He’s anchored by one of Benji’s hands on his hip, the other on his face. He kisses Benji’s palm, then sucks Benji’s thumb into his mouth.

“Holy fuck,” Benji says, as Ethan starts to move inside him. Benji’s hips rise up to meet Ethan’s and they form a rhythm, deep and slow. Ethan revels in the tight heat around his cock, in the smell of sex rising up between them, in the grunts and moans Benji makes, in the sound of their skin slapping together. Benji’s eyes never waver, he’s as intent on Ethan’s face as Ethan is on his. Without losing his rhythm, Ethan finds the bottle of lube, presses into Benji’s hand and watches as he coats his own straining cock with it.

“Touch yourself, baby,” Ethan says.

Benji does as he’s told, stroking himself long and slow, in time with Ethan’s rolling thrusts.

“Harder,” Benji whispers. “Give me everything.”

“Everything,” Ethan repeats. He grabs Benji’s hips, picks up the pace, snapping into him, feeling his balls slap against Benji’s soft flesh. Benji’s pace increases, too, his face is flushes and he’s panting.

“Yes, yes, Ethan, that’s it, come on.”

“I’m going to fill you with so much come,” Ethan says, a moment before his orgasm tears through him like an electric shock, turning his vision white, as he empties himself deep inside the man he—

_Oh._

Benji’s come flies absolutely everywhere, painting both of their chests with ribbons of it. Ethan’s focus comes back, lands on Benji’s face. He’s smiling, and he drags a finger through some of his come, rubs it over that stupid hickey, as if he’d read Ethan’s mind from earlier. 

Ethan collapses onto his elbows, kisses Benji as if his life depends on it. They stay there, tongues colliding, moaning into each other’s mouth, as if they can’t stop even though both of their bodies are cooling and sticky. Ethan’s cock is still inside Benji.

“Um,” he says. “That was—”

“Hot as fuck,” Benji drawls.

Ethan laughs. “Yeah. It was.” He loves Benji’s eyes like this, from two inches away. They’re blue like a summer afternoon sky. “Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For before. Being jealous and stupid.”

“You’re only human,” Benji says. “Aren’t you?” He raises an eyebrow.

“I guess I am,” Ethan says slowly. “And I’m in love with you, if you hadn’t already figured that out.”

There’s a moment of silence and Ethan’s stomach feels likes he’s freefalling out of an airplane with a defective chute.

“I had my suspicions,” Benji says finally. “I wasn’t sure if I was just wanting to see it, since I’m in love with you, too.”

And just like that, the chute opens.

**Author's Note:**

> On Tumblr as fictionallemons


End file.
